By the end of the year when it was time for me to leave college and move on with life and in life I had finally sorted out my emotions and feelings within and had come to accept to myself the truth..which was...
I had a "big crush" on Smriti.This was something that I was never letting myself accept to myself.But by the end of the year I accepted the inevitable.And what was I going to do about it...nothing(haha)Yeah quite simply nothing cos I really didnt know at that point of time what happens when a person has a crush on somebody and what I am supposed to do.Ofcourse partly may be due to the fear of rejection not that I wouldnt have been able to take it(would have been hard)but also due to the bigger reason that I didnt want to spoil something so special and beautiful that I shared with somebody and this was something that in my 22 years of existence that had never ever happened before.........
Days passed by and we started meeting each other less(something that I always knew)I got busy with my job hunt,work pressure,the travails of existence,money problems etc etc..She was still in college and in the student mode though she had an amazing amount of maturity and level headedness for a 20 year old.One of the qualities that drew her to me....Her calls were the most awaited ones for me (haha)yeah because I couldnt call her due to weird reasons and reasons which I respected nevertheless.So whenver a call came from the number ending with 65 my heart would skip a beat and the calls were long in the days of costly phone calls long calls....I am sure something that her father didnt enjoy a wee bit.The topics on the calls also had matured and today when I think of it it was such a big transformation and slowly I realised that my relationship with her was evolving into something much different and I was proud of it as well.
There was no sense of loss anywhere.
We were slowly turning into something more than friends.
We were turning into what..I still havent found the word for it but something that I enjoyed every bit.
It was not that we had solutions for each others problems but we were there to listen to each other and there was this genuine concern and warmth that we shared.Something that I couldnt really feel in anyone else or maybe I didnt look hard enough when it came to others.
There was this brief period in between when she got busy finding the guy of her choice and I got busy with my own set of sagas in finding my woman.During this period there was a time of disconnect between us.Probably the force unknown knew that we had to give our share of time to things which are important to us.The talks were almost nil,there was hardly a call.Then comes the call one day.
"Hey listen I am getting married"
I almost jumped out of my office chair.I was so damn happy that I really didnt know that I could actually be this happy for somebody else.Then she went about ranting about her story which was typical bollywood ishtyle.I did go for her marriage(there was no way in the world I was missing that haha)and it was a brief stay because I had my life to sort out and there was enough of masala going on in my life at that point of time and on that day.
The talking and shouting and having fun...everything came back so naturally as if they were going on for ages..Nothing was amiss.Maybe that was the magic of the bonding.
And neither of us cribbed for not having kept in touch and the all too familiar way of starting conversations didnt even happen between us of"Where have you been all these days?No news nothing....."This was a line that never ever happened between us...
Then came another call yet another day.
"Hey listen I am a mother"
Thankfully I was already standing that day so didnt fall off any chair.Yet another happy moment and am waiting to see her bundle of joy.....
I would like to end this by saying that given a chance would I want to change anything?My answer would be a firm NO.I firmly believe little imperfections in life make life perfect...
Why write all this now at such stages of our life?Well something inside me stirred and I felt that something had to be dedicated to this lady who came by my life and "effected" my life in whatever way it has....
Thanx for being there Smriti.........
The Lady on the Red Cycle
Why am I writing this?I dont know.....What triggered me to write this...I dont know.Life is a game of glorious uncertainties.
It was my third year in college and what a college it was.A college which gave me some people to treasure and nothing else.
Plans were on war footing to get the final acts ready before the all important Telecommunication festival going.It was the first time in the history of the college that something of this sort was being attempted and I was proud to be associated with sowing the seeds of the same.In fact proud to the point of being egoistic.
Duties were being charted for all the volunteers and dress codes being discussed.I was going mad with all the various activities that had to be taken care of.The person in charge of the volunteer list gave me the final list for approval as I had to be approving the list of Telecom people.I took a cursory glance and said "Ok..all look good.Lemme jes look @ the name"It was more of a formality than anything else.I read through the names and not one name was familiar(nothing surprising considering the way the college functioned and more importantly the way I functioned in those days).Little did I realise that one of the names in that list was of someone whom I would have a special affinity towards, all my life.
The big day arrived and everybody was dressed for the occassion.All the ladies well turned out in their chiffons and Kanjeevarams and the guys in their blazers(though quite frankly some of them were quite over-sized).I was in my trademark Jeans and shirt.I took a round of all the locations and saw to it that everything was going on like a well oiled machine.
Suddenly a SOS situation.There is nobody to receive the dignitaries and is the wont of Indian society everybody wanted prim and proper ladies in the best of saris to do this job.I was not exactly in a mood to do a model screening among the loads of ladies who were there in saris.I bring out the volunteer list and circle out three names from it.Come what may they in saris or not,they handle the reception I said.The names were:Smriti,Shubra & Vijaya.To this date if you ask me why I circled those names...probably the answer would be that the names caught my eye.Nothing more to it.
I send word through somebody that these three ladies have been selected for the reception and to have them take their posts as soon as possible.
As I was talking to somebody I could see from the corner of my eye two ladies approaching me.At first I did not bother but they continued to walk towards me and they came to a halt right in front of me and they introduced themselves."Hi Ranjit,I am Shubra & this is Vijaya""Hi Shubra...Hi Vijaya...How are you doing?""Well what can I do for you girls?I am sorry but I am in an awful hurry so if its not something important probably I shall speak to you later?""Hmmm Well,you sent word that we were supposed to handle the reception"I slapped my hand on my forehead and said"Oh shucks I am so sorry I totally forgot your names.Yes but I had circled three names.Do you know wheres the third person?""Oh yes she is a friend of ours,and she hasnt reached yet.We just called her and told her and she should be here any moment"
"Oh thats fine.If you could just go ahead and take the positions and let your friend join you as and when she comes in.,it would be great"The girls gave each other this look of confusion and finally I dont know whether it was the helplessness on my face or the charm that I exuded,but the girls agreed to do it.I thanked them profusely and walked away thinking for a moment about the third person.
Who is this lady called Smriti?
It was my third year in college and what a college it was.A college which gave me some people to treasure and nothing else.
Plans were on war footing to get the final acts ready before the all important Telecommunication festival going.It was the first time in the history of the college that something of this sort was being attempted and I was proud to be associated with sowing the seeds of the same.In fact proud to the point of being egoistic.
Duties were being charted for all the volunteers and dress codes being discussed.I was going mad with all the various activities that had to be taken care of.The person in charge of the volunteer list gave me the final list for approval as I had to be approving the list of Telecom people.I took a cursory glance and said "Ok..all look good.Lemme jes look @ the name"It was more of a formality than anything else.I read through the names and not one name was familiar(nothing surprising considering the way the college functioned and more importantly the way I functioned in those days).Little did I realise that one of the names in that list was of someone whom I would have a special affinity towards, all my life.
The big day arrived and everybody was dressed for the occassion.All the ladies well turned out in their chiffons and Kanjeevarams and the guys in their blazers(though quite frankly some of them were quite over-sized).I was in my trademark Jeans and shirt.I took a round of all the locations and saw to it that everything was going on like a well oiled machine.
Suddenly a SOS situation.There is nobody to receive the dignitaries and is the wont of Indian society everybody wanted prim and proper ladies in the best of saris to do this job.I was not exactly in a mood to do a model screening among the loads of ladies who were there in saris.I bring out the volunteer list and circle out three names from it.Come what may they in saris or not,they handle the reception I said.The names were:Smriti,Shubra & Vijaya.To this date if you ask me why I circled those names...probably the answer would be that the names caught my eye.Nothing more to it.
I send word through somebody that these three ladies have been selected for the reception and to have them take their posts as soon as possible.
As I was talking to somebody I could see from the corner of my eye two ladies approaching me.At first I did not bother but they continued to walk towards me and they came to a halt right in front of me and they introduced themselves."Hi Ranjit,I am Shubra & this is Vijaya""Hi Shubra...Hi Vijaya...How are you doing?""Well what can I do for you girls?I am sorry but I am in an awful hurry so if its not something important probably I shall speak to you later?""Hmmm Well,you sent word that we were supposed to handle the reception"I slapped my hand on my forehead and said"Oh shucks I am so sorry I totally forgot your names.Yes but I had circled three names.Do you know wheres the third person?""Oh yes she is a friend of ours,and she hasnt reached yet.We just called her and told her and she should be here any moment"
"Oh thats fine.If you could just go ahead and take the positions and let your friend join you as and when she comes in.,it would be great"The girls gave each other this look of confusion and finally I dont know whether it was the helplessness on my face or the charm that I exuded,but the girls agreed to do it.I thanked them profusely and walked away thinking for a moment about the third person.
Who is this lady called Smriti?
After this I got busy with the programs for the day and I kept hearing praises and thank yous for having the entire program go on like a well oiled machine.There were comments coming in about the girls who were handling the reception as well.
I had even forgotten the names of the people handling the reception,but then I remembered their faces.One was this lady with a long but baby face and the other one was this chubby looking girl with a chubby looking face.I wondered to myself who is the third person.
Now that the programs had all come to an end and I was relatively free to the point of doing nothing,I was walking towards the dental hospital block and I could see three women on the bridge which connects firm ground to the corridor of the Telecom Dept block.I could recognise the two of them as the people whom I had met in the morning,but now there was a third girl as well.
As is the wont of any 3rd year college guy,my curiousity instincts woke up and I wanted to see who the third person was.I started walking towards the building and by then the girls had packed up and were about to leave.I reached there just on time and I finally lay my eyes on the third person.
The third person was looking beautiful to the point of being gorgeous,draped well in a blue saree and a white top.She had a small face with a tooth broken or twisted in front(which she later claimed was her claim to beauty...something that I didnt dispute much on because I too believed it was....I am not sure if today she has capped that broken tooth whereever she is)and a small scar on her forehead.She looked to be the studious types thanx to this long forehead that she possessed.
"Hi I am Ranjit"And then I suddenly remind myself--- whats happening to me.Am I trying to impress this lady.?????Oh my God I cant believe that I am doing this.Its never happened to me before all along my school life or 3 years of college life.I have come across umpteen number of girls in this period but never did I ever feel the urge to impress and too a person whom I didnt even know let alone talk.
Luckily for me I was not snubbed.(Again probably due to the lady's kindness or consideration..It definitely was not my charm)."Hi Ranjit,I am Smriti.I have been hearing lots about you.Finally I get to see you"I couldnt believe my ears and was dumbstruck and just couldnt reply..Was she talking about me.Jeez somebody hold me,I am falling..falling...falling.Luckily I regained my balance but I couldnt get myself to say anything and before I could make an ass of myself I said I had to run and left the place.Wonder what they would have felt at that time...
I was to leave for Kerala that evening and so did I leave.Never did I imagine that I was going home with a lot of thoughts that would play in my mind in the days and years to come......
I had even forgotten the names of the people handling the reception,but then I remembered their faces.One was this lady with a long but baby face and the other one was this chubby looking girl with a chubby looking face.I wondered to myself who is the third person.
Now that the programs had all come to an end and I was relatively free to the point of doing nothing,I was walking towards the dental hospital block and I could see three women on the bridge which connects firm ground to the corridor of the Telecom Dept block.I could recognise the two of them as the people whom I had met in the morning,but now there was a third girl as well.
As is the wont of any 3rd year college guy,my curiousity instincts woke up and I wanted to see who the third person was.I started walking towards the building and by then the girls had packed up and were about to leave.I reached there just on time and I finally lay my eyes on the third person.
The third person was looking beautiful to the point of being gorgeous,draped well in a blue saree and a white top.She had a small face with a tooth broken or twisted in front(which she later claimed was her claim to beauty...something that I didnt dispute much on because I too believed it was....I am not sure if today she has capped that broken tooth whereever she is)and a small scar on her forehead.She looked to be the studious types thanx to this long forehead that she possessed.
"Hi I am Ranjit"And then I suddenly remind myself--- whats happening to me.Am I trying to impress this lady.?????Oh my God I cant believe that I am doing this.Its never happened to me before all along my school life or 3 years of college life.I have come across umpteen number of girls in this period but never did I ever feel the urge to impress and too a person whom I didnt even know let alone talk.
Luckily for me I was not snubbed.(Again probably due to the lady's kindness or consideration..It definitely was not my charm)."Hi Ranjit,I am Smriti.I have been hearing lots about you.Finally I get to see you"I couldnt believe my ears and was dumbstruck and just couldnt reply..Was she talking about me.Jeez somebody hold me,I am falling..falling...falling.Luckily I regained my balance but I couldnt get myself to say anything and before I could make an ass of myself I said I had to run and left the place.Wonder what they would have felt at that time...
I was to leave for Kerala that evening and so did I leave.Never did I imagine that I was going home with a lot of thoughts that would play in my mind in the days and years to come......
I went away to Kerala for a week and to write that this lady wasnt in my thoughts would be a blatant lie.In fact it was in kerala that I recollected all the happenings of the past few days and thats when the blue-saree lady stood out from the rest.
I was in a hurry to get back and sort out my feelings and it was a big mix up of emotions and feelings.
I got back the following weekend and got back to college.And like any other guy of my age I was just hoping against hope that I bump into her somewhere in the college.I didnt even know what year she was in or what branch was she in.I couldnt get any dumber could I?
I reached home in Bangalore around 7 in the morning.I immediately washed and got ready for college.Never in the history of my stay in college have I ever reached college so early.
Where do I look for her?
Voila I couldnt believe my eyes.Right in front of me were the 3 ladies walking upto me after parking their bikes.I almost pinched myself to make sure I wasnt dreaming.
Knowing myself so well,I was so tongue tied and I just couldnt get a conversation going.I somehow managed the hellos and asked them if they enjoyed the programs the other day.I was more intent on knowing "her" replies(haha).
After this initial hiccup I started bumping into them at so many places in the college,most of them were unintentional though some were intentional in the sense I knew where I could find the lady and her friends and so deliberately took those routes.
My mind was still in turmoil and I really had no clue what the feelings were supposed to be telling me.
It was too early for an emotion called love to happen and I really didnt know what falling in love was at that point of time.Today ask me about it and I could talk on it for days and days.
To add to the problems,my time in college was running out as I just had a year to go and the lady had almost 3 years to go.I always knew once I leave college I would get caught in so many things and I really might not keep in touch with this lady.
I was in a hurry to get back and sort out my feelings and it was a big mix up of emotions and feelings.
I got back the following weekend and got back to college.And like any other guy of my age I was just hoping against hope that I bump into her somewhere in the college.I didnt even know what year she was in or what branch was she in.I couldnt get any dumber could I?
I reached home in Bangalore around 7 in the morning.I immediately washed and got ready for college.Never in the history of my stay in college have I ever reached college so early.
Where do I look for her?
Voila I couldnt believe my eyes.Right in front of me were the 3 ladies walking upto me after parking their bikes.I almost pinched myself to make sure I wasnt dreaming.
Knowing myself so well,I was so tongue tied and I just couldnt get a conversation going.I somehow managed the hellos and asked them if they enjoyed the programs the other day.I was more intent on knowing "her" replies(haha).
After this initial hiccup I started bumping into them at so many places in the college,most of them were unintentional though some were intentional in the sense I knew where I could find the lady and her friends and so deliberately took those routes.
My mind was still in turmoil and I really had no clue what the feelings were supposed to be telling me.
It was too early for an emotion called love to happen and I really didnt know what falling in love was at that point of time.Today ask me about it and I could talk on it for days and days.
To add to the problems,my time in college was running out as I just had a year to go and the lady had almost 3 years to go.I always knew once I leave college I would get caught in so many things and I really might not keep in touch with this lady.
There were so many incidents that made the moments so memorable and these are moments that stand out of my interactions with Smriti.
Of course all these moments were apparently planned and charted by all the 3 ladies or atleast the 2 of them most of the time.But later I come to know from the other ladies that most of the incidents were indeed planned out by Smriti:)
The corner house jayanagar incident was a definite first for me.Those were the only days that I felt Bangalore was such a small place because I kept bumping into her at so many places that after a while I started to lose count.One such incident was at Corner House,Jayanagar.I bump into the whole gang hogging away on icecreams and till that time I never knew what corner house was.Being a hostelite and living on a hand to mouth existence didnt actually let you afford these luxuries.Of all days I chose a day to go there when these people were also present there.We hog away on the icecreams and then say our goodbyes to all.Now Smriti and me apparently have to drive away in the same direction while all others go different ways.Half way through the drive the lady comes up with this weird suggestion."Hey,do you need to get back home soon?" I said"No,not really.Why do you ask?""Well I was wondering if we can go together to HMV in 4th block because I need to buy an audio cassette(those were the days of cassettes no cds yet)for my cousin and was wondering if you can come along?"
I was shocked out of my daylights(well thts exaggerating a little bit..but it was on similar lines my feelings at that point of time).I said"Sure lets go though my knowledge on music is extremely limited""Oh thats ok,you dont you just come along?"
There we head away to the shop buy some indiscrete lookin cassette.I am not sure if she paid any attention to what she was buying and I also wasnt paying any attention.I till date am not sure why and how that took place.It still a big puzzling moment.This was our first so called "trip" all by ourselves.....And I was quite frankly over the moon.For what?Maybe just the idea of being there with her was the most appealing thing at that point of time.
Another incident was when I received my first birthday gift in 4 years of college life.A red & white striped shirt of Raymonds.I just couldnt believe it and to go with it a lot of other stuff which I cant really remember and I was literally bullied into changing into the shirt(haha)
Then there were these long talks in the college parking in front of the library.Long was an understatement as they would go on for hours and we really didnt need to hunt for topics.Topics would just tumble out.
Then started my job hunt days and I was on a hunt like a man possessed.I used to shuttle between Kerala & Bangalore those days.During one such short stay was yet another birthday of mine and the lady calls up early in the morning for the wish and I was literally smiling to mysef and couldnt gather myself to say a word.
Then there was a Pizza Corner meeting by which time I had begun working and she was out of college as well,but she came with all her fears of being "spotted"..Inspite of all those fears we still managed to have fun.
These are some of the moments that made it really special for me.There are upteen other moments but cant remember them all at this point of time......but all of them were indeed beautiful...
Of course all these moments were apparently planned and charted by all the 3 ladies or atleast the 2 of them most of the time.But later I come to know from the other ladies that most of the incidents were indeed planned out by Smriti:)
The corner house jayanagar incident was a definite first for me.Those were the only days that I felt Bangalore was such a small place because I kept bumping into her at so many places that after a while I started to lose count.One such incident was at Corner House,Jayanagar.I bump into the whole gang hogging away on icecreams and till that time I never knew what corner house was.Being a hostelite and living on a hand to mouth existence didnt actually let you afford these luxuries.Of all days I chose a day to go there when these people were also present there.We hog away on the icecreams and then say our goodbyes to all.Now Smriti and me apparently have to drive away in the same direction while all others go different ways.Half way through the drive the lady comes up with this weird suggestion."Hey,do you need to get back home soon?" I said"No,not really.Why do you ask?""Well I was wondering if we can go together to HMV in 4th block because I need to buy an audio cassette(those were the days of cassettes no cds yet)for my cousin and was wondering if you can come along?"
I was shocked out of my daylights(well thts exaggerating a little bit..but it was on similar lines my feelings at that point of time).I said"Sure lets go though my knowledge on music is extremely limited""Oh thats ok,you dont you just come along?"
There we head away to the shop buy some indiscrete lookin cassette.I am not sure if she paid any attention to what she was buying and I also wasnt paying any attention.I till date am not sure why and how that took place.It still a big puzzling moment.This was our first so called "trip" all by ourselves.....And I was quite frankly over the moon.For what?Maybe just the idea of being there with her was the most appealing thing at that point of time.
Another incident was when I received my first birthday gift in 4 years of college life.A red & white striped shirt of Raymonds.I just couldnt believe it and to go with it a lot of other stuff which I cant really remember and I was literally bullied into changing into the shirt(haha)
Then there were these long talks in the college parking in front of the library.Long was an understatement as they would go on for hours and we really didnt need to hunt for topics.Topics would just tumble out.
Then started my job hunt days and I was on a hunt like a man possessed.I used to shuttle between Kerala & Bangalore those days.During one such short stay was yet another birthday of mine and the lady calls up early in the morning for the wish and I was literally smiling to mysef and couldnt gather myself to say a word.
Then there was a Pizza Corner meeting by which time I had begun working and she was out of college as well,but she came with all her fears of being "spotted"..Inspite of all those fears we still managed to have fun.
These are some of the moments that made it really special for me.There are upteen other moments but cant remember them all at this point of time......but all of them were indeed beautiful...
Evolution of My....or Our relationship
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